can you keep this just between us?

I missed blogging. Hiatus mode was on for the past weeks.

I’m no good in writing poems, but I want to try this time.

Here it goes…

Shooting Star

Looking back I saw the future

The only possible place in time “we” could ever exist

The last string I’m holding on to

The room where nothing but uncertainty resides

Fate brought you to me

Inevitably, fate took you back

You’re my shooting star

Yet all you did was pass me by

If only I had one wish

I want you to cross my sky once more

And I’ll make everything stand still

If only it could be done

Time flies too fast

We used to ride on the same boat

Now you’re there sailing your own

And here I am, waiting for you on that same shore

Someday in somewhere no one knows

I know we’ll meet again

We’re living different lives

But at least, we’re still looking at the same sky…

***

(The spacing’s a mess *rawr*. It’s got 5 stanzas with 4 lines in each.)

It’s a descriptive essay I passed for my EXWRITE class last school year….

and YES..it’s all about YOU.

It’s so two years ago..and I’m definitely over it. This is just for the sake of posting something here. HAHA.  No, I’m not defensive. :]

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They say you missed a big part of your teenage life if you haven’t gone to your Junior-Senior Prom, a night where we transform from childish boys and girls to mature ladies and gentlemen. My first JS Prom a couple of years ago made one of the most unforgettable events in my life, an event I’ll forever treasure.

It was almost evening; the clock read five thirty in the afternoon. I was all dressed up and everything was set. As I was sitting in our couch waiting for the car to be ready, butterflies were in my stomach and I can feel my heart beating too fast as my thoughts earnestly travel  to what it is that might happen that evening. Suddenly, my mom’s voice brought me back to the real world, we were ready to leave. I quickly ran into the room and took one last glance at the mirror. Anxiously standing there was a girl in a splendid blue gown. I took a deep breath, smiled, and told her, “You can do it”, and then I rushed into the car. The night of every teenage girl’s dream, as they would call it, was just a few minutes away.  The only thing that gave such a chill to my whole body as the car drove closer to The Bellevue was neither the event itself nor the awards to be given; it’s the thought of standing face to face with the guy I really liked, my date, as our bodies sway to the tune of a sweet music.

The car went to stop. Finally, we were at the hotel. As I opened the car door, the wind that blew even gave more chill to my cold body that I needed to put on my shawl. The thrill and edginess inside me was rising as I walked into the hotel. I immediately scanned the place to see if my date was already there. The lobby was hustling; different groups of people were busy chatting, excited mothers were keenly assisting their children and the blinding white flash of the cameras can be seen every now and then. As I was looking at the girls, I could see no trace of the usual childish teens I used to see in school. All I can see were the newly transformed Cinderellas moving in such a gracious manner. The boys, looking so handsome and manly with their tuxedos on, were in different groups, each looking intently at the beautiful ladies as if they were Prince Charmings searching for their Cinderellas.  My eyes continuously gazed in all directions in the place hoping to finally see him. So many beautiful faces yet none of those was his. It was getting darker outside, the prom was about to start. Still, there was no trace of him. I felt like that event would turn out to be one of my biggest disappointments.

We entered the hall, the program did start. The place itself somehow eased my being downhearted. It was as if we were in a white palace; white lilies can be seen throughout the big hall, ivory cloths veiled the chairs and tables in the place, and the warm glow of the light illuming the vast room gave it a spirit of romance and elegance. After walking in the red carpeted aisle, I immediately headed to the table reserved for me and my friends. This was the first time I’ve ever attended a formal gathering with them. It was fun. For quite a while, I was able to laugh and smile though a part of me was still feeling blue. Right after the sumptuous food was served and the special awards were given, darkness covered the hall and deafening music boosted everyone’s spirit. The white palace turned into a nightspot in just a snap. Almost everyone was rocking the dance floor; there were just few persons left in the tables and I was one of those. I can’t seem to find any reason to be happy knowing that the only person I wanted to see wasn’t there. Abruptly, my friends brought me into the dance floor. I had no choice. I just sullenly accepted the fact that he won’t come and told myself that I’d better make the most out of that evening rather than isolating myself in one corner and let my emotions get over me. For that few minutes I was able to truly have fun, though I still caught myself unconsciously searching for him once in a while. Everyone was raving and outrageous when suddenly the groovy tunes turned into sweet mellow music. The dance floor became the couple’s paradise. I and my friends went back to our table. I again felt that emptiness inside me as the music played. The songs seem to tell the nuisance of my heavy heart. I wanted him to be my first and last dance but he wasn’t there. I had my first dance with one of my closest guy friends and it somehow made me happy. After several minutes of dancing, I went back to that dark corner, back to that feeling. I never thought that the night I’ve waited for quite a long time would be that gloomy.

As I was sitting alone, listening to the songs that played, I felt my heart beating too fast again like the way it did before the prom started. I felt someone coming near me as a familiar scent came wafting in the air. I had felt the chill in my body building up once more. Random thoughts were in my mind as I slowly tilted my head up to see who the person was. I was right; he was there, standing in front of me, offering his hand to dance with me. As our eyes met, he broke into a stunning smile that took my breath away. Then we were at the dance floor, I patted my hands uncomfortably in his shoulders as the sweet music governed the swaying of our bodies. I wanted to freeze the hands of time that moment. I looked in different directions but in the corner of my eye, I was looking at him and he was looking at me too, a thing that even made me feel more uncomfortable. That time, I wondered how come the guy who made many of the most annoying moments in my life was the same guy who made one of the best moments I’ve ever had. As we dance, he continually cracked jokes, same as before. We were laughing; he never really failed to make me smile even when we were still “worst friends”. That was the best part in him. We almost spend the whole night just dancing and laughing. Then he spoke again, he was serious this time. I can rarely hear him talk that way. It might be something really serious, I thought. And yes it was. My ears almost refused to hear what he said. They’re leaving; for good. I was mute for a short while. “Oh”, that was all that came out of my mouth as I came to realize what he just said. I have no idea how to react. I looked away from him so he won’t see the tear that fell from my eye. Time was not on our side that instant; it was a few minutes before twelve midnight. We were both silent. Then suddenly the warm glow of the lights was back, the sweet music stopped. It was over. As we walked toward the big door in the hall going out, I saw his gloomy face illumed by the gleam of light, it made letting go even harder. I needed to go right away. As we looked at each other, he held my hand, smiled at me, and let it go at once. That was goodbye.

I was in mixed emotions as the car drove away from The Bellevue.  I was happy that he came that night yet so sad that he left for good. I don’t know if I should feel glad or miserable knowing that he was my last dance yet that was the last.

♥ ♥ ♥

I missed this. It’s been a while.

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Finally, she knew. She realized. She was out of that dream–back to the harshness of the real world. Life is no fairy tale. There’s not a guy as quixotic as that fictitious vampire. She’s neither Bella nor Juliet. She’s just a gullible little girl who once dreamed of a happy ending, but in the end found herself struggling to hide from the shadows of her worst nightmare.

She was this girl who gambled with fate…because he was that guy whom she thought is the answer. Now, she is this girl who’s left alone–shattered, and he’s that guy…who doesn’t even care. It’s crystal clear; in a flash, everything’s gone–gone just like that. Fire burned all those kisses as the wind took away his sweet embrace. It made her want to cry like a little child seeking for comfort, but she knew that he’s not worth her tears, not even a teardrop. She loathes  not him, but herself for barging in in a world of make believe, where nothing but lies are all there is…those bittersweet lies that caught her all the way.

She knows time will come that her heart will feel the pain no more–that she will forget everything about them exactly as he did. She might not have a happy ending with that prince she once dreamed of…but at least she knew that it was just one of the chapters in her story…and many are yet to be told. ♥

♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥

is the one that starts with what if …cause no one ever holds the answer.

♦ ♦ ♦

Here’s my own share of what ifs with my wild guess in each.. >:]

“WHAT IF…”

**I gave that person a chance? I must have been happier–much more comfortable. Gawd. That was a long time ago. Ahaha.

**I chose not to go with that someone that day? I might not feel this way–anxious,confused. I might just be…APATHETIC.

**I’ve been showy to the three most important persons in my life? Things could’ve been much easier to settle with them. I may have been a little more “OPEN”. I might not have this “ampalaya syndrome”.

**I took my high school days seriously? I might be in a better place right now. HA HA. APC’s good tho. :]

**I didn’t demand for someone MORE? Maybe we’ve had the best times, I’ve had the best stories to tell…the best memories to go back to.

** People involved got to read this? So what? Haha. It’s all over and done. Those questions just popped out. Not that i regret what I did and didn’t choose to do. Everything’s got their own reasons. ♥

♥ ♥ ♥

How I hate Tuesdays! *RAWR*